This post concerns a few troubling messages I have seen, both personally and some that have been in the media. If you wouldn't say it face-to-face, then don't message it!
It seems like we have managed to avoid personal confrontations by our technology today. We are much braver when it comes to sending messages in a text or email than we are when speaking face-to-face with someone.
Of course, none of us really like to deal with something unpleasant, but sometimes we just have to. It is always much better to discuss an issue in person. Your facial expressions and body language coincide with your words to get your point across. Many times a text message, which has no lingual emphasis, is taken the wrong way. When people can look at you, they perceive just what you mean by your words.
And I see a lot of mean texting that I doubt would be said in person. We somehow feel protected by our phones or computers. Kind of like honking and shouting at the person who just cut you off with no intentions of actually getting out of your car. This sometimes allows us to act in a very unbecoming way towards others.
In my experience the best (and sometimes hardest) way to approach an unpleasant issue is simply to address it head-on. Tell the person you are having an issue with exactly what you feel is wrong and what things you feel could be done to remedy the situation. No one likes to be criticized, so it is usually best to begin with a statement like, "I feel like my ideas are not being heard." This will be taken much better than, "You never listen to a thing I say!"
You should maintain control over the volume of your voice, as that can seem very pointed if you are too loud.
There will be times when an agreement just can be reached, and you may have to agree to disagree, but you can still do that while maintaining your composure and showing respect to the other person.
We all want to be heard and validated, whether we get our way or not. A little bit of courtesy and politeness goes a long way. And from my past experience, every time I have lost control and shouted or offended the other person, I have regretted it. You never know when you may need to connect with someone in the future, and it is best not to burn your bridges with them if you can avoid it.
